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Archive for the ‘Stupid’ Category

The title speaks for itself:

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I just got the following comment in my spam box.  I don’t know what to think of it, and I’m going to keep it there, but I figure it is worth sharing:

I have to make it public. It’s suppose to be secret, however most people in Austin, Tx knows about it. The police department has machine that can read your mind. It can also change the way you feel. Sexual impulses, anger, and causing you to feel fear paranoia, basically anyway they would like to feel. This means it can cause a girl or boy to feel sexual. So sexual that they will have sex with strangers. This is just like rape. This is just one crime they commit with this machine. A machine that can read someone’s mind will be used to violate everyones civil rights. Ideas and secrets about company will be stolen by their competition with ease. People will be spied on in there homes, without a warrant. (this means someone will be able to watch you during intimacy without your knowledge.) There are a lot of people all over the United States knowing about this machine and the police department being able to use it. Start thinking about how the government has given the police department a weapon to commit not only one of the biggest civil rights violations of all time, but to commit war crimes such as rape and interrogation without the knowledge of the victim. I know it is hard to believe however if you happen to know someone in the police department, just ask if they have this machine. After that, I would also like people to think about how we are able to get the government to stop letting the police department violate civil rights and commit war crimes against there own citizens.

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shower

From now on, we should talk about the rich giving the poor a golden shower.  Of money and gold, of course!

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Fire alarms went off in my building last night circa 2:10am. Story is that some drunk neighbor decided to make munchies – but fell asleep in process. Food got burnt, filled the building with smoke, fire alarms went off, firefighters came, firefighters left, fire alarms stayed on awhile longer for good measure. But in the midst of this excitement, I did discover some amusing sleep-me factoids.

  1. Upon hearing the fire alarm and smelling smoke  — my first action is to go to the bathroom.
  2. After doing porcelain-related-business,  I decide to change into jeans and a sweatshirt.
  3. I absentmindedly stare at the back-wall of my closet pondering why exactly I’m standing in my closet.
  4. Sometime while dressing I realize that I should probably hurry up.
  5. I put on a jacket, grab  keys, phone, and (inexplicably) my metro card. Inexplicably seeing as the metro is CLOSED. Even if it were open, what was I going to do — take metro rides all night?
  6. I have the hardest time locking my door. Probably the noticeable presence of smoke in the hallway doesn’t help.
  7. (Now outside) Watching firefighters go into my building  I realize that taking my glasses and wallet might have been a solid idea. Certainly better than, say, the metro card.

The End (of Part I)

speaking of stupid -- look at the sign!

Conclusionary insights:

Burnt food has this way of filling an entire apartment building with smoke. And because lots of smoke has a way of tripping fire alarms, the fire department might show up and put one of their nifty ladders on the roof right-next-to/ on-top-of my apartment.

Therefore, considering the proximity of the ladder — should there ever be a Part II, I’m just going to go the bathroom, put my glasses on, and get back in bed.

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The Best TV Commercial Ever

I didn’t know I needed any more furniture until I watched this commercial.  Everyone do the Montgomery Flea Market Shuffle!  Enjoy.

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The Church has (re)found its favorite secret weapon — female isolation. If you’ve never heard of Return of the Daughters (and there is not a good reason why you should have) click here and then click on the  “view trailer” tab at the bottom of the page.  Oh, don’t worry if you’ve never heard of  Anna Sofia or Elizabeth Botkin.  They don’t seem the type to hang out at the townie bar, do the horizontal salsa, say anything remotely interesting. Probably they don’t even know what a hand held mirror is for, let alone own a Waterpick shower massage showerhead. (Further proof of the perils associated with home “education.”)

But back to the good news: the Church can regain ground lost to Obamarama if jebus-loving-parents-everywhere would just stop educating their daughters.  What a “new” idea that is!

As one scarily religious reviewer of this propo-mentary crowed:

Prepare to be challenged. Be prepared to have many of your embedded concepts of humanism and secularism unearthed and dislodged. Be prepared to see how faithful Christian families are saying “yes” to God’s plan and “no” to the world’s. … When families no longer squander the talents, energies, and contributions of their unmarried daughters — sending them away from the home to pursue “success” — we will see another milestone accomplished in the rebuilding of our culture to the honor and glory of Jesus Christ. As the film asserts, unmarried daughters serving their fathers by forwarding their fathers’ dominion-oriented commitment to press the Crown Rights of Jesus Christ are the Church’s secret weapons indeed!

‘Twould appear that hope and change isn’t for everyone.

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It’s cold outside!

Has anyone noticed how fucking cold it is outside?  Christlord almighty!

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